How to practice mindfulness?
Practicing mindfulness involves several sub-elements. The following section explains what it means to be observing, describing, non-judgmental, non-reacting, and acting with awareness.
Observing
Observing is noticing, recording, or experiencing neutrally, without reacting emotionally or mentally to what you are observing. You simply let experiences come and go without trying to control them in any way. When you observe, you describe what you observe in a completely objective way.
It is about being inward registering (having an inner focus), "feeling yourself", i.e. sensing the state of your body, for example, your pulse, temperature, the sounds in your ear or from your breath, physical sensations, tingling, discomfort, pain or muscular tension. You can also focus your inner attention on the thoughts that arise or the emotions that are present right now - at this moment, observing them neutrally.
At the same time, it is also about being outward registering (having an external focus), i.e., sensing your surroundings through sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch and sensing others, both "on the surface" and "in-depth".
Being a person in pain, it is very often the body that is a challenge, because it is in the body that the pain is located and experienced. In addition, it is the body's interaction with thoughts, feelings, and the subsequent actions that can be a challenge and can exacerbate the pain experience. A good place to start is to observe what is happening in the body: how is the pain experienced and where is it located? But without judging what you feel and without trying to control or change the pain.
Once you have practiced observing the body, it will be natural to move on to observing your breath, thoughts, and feelings in the same way you have observed the body.
Describe
To describe is to name what is being observed. It can be your bodily sensations, your feelings, or your thoughts. You can do this by, for example, categorizing what you observe. This can be as broad as naming what you observe as either a bodily sensation, a thought, a feeling, an emotion, a need, a sound or smell, or things or people in your environment.
It can also be more specific naming, for example, categorizing your bodily sensations as muscle contraction, pain, tingling, or something else, and your thoughts as memories (past), worries, and planning (future) - depending on their content.
Naming what we observe reminds us that thoughts and feelings are things that come and go. They are not the same as reality, they are not necessarily truths, and they don't have to control our reactions or our behavior. Thoughts are thoughts and feelings are feelings. They are something you have; they are not something you are.
The idea of describing is that by acknowledging and taking responsibility for your sensations, thoughts, and emotions without identifying with them, they become easier to let go of. During mindfulness training, we practice staying descriptive and observant on two levels:
1) We describe in detail what is happening in the body, our thoughts, and emotions - without using analyzing, interpreting, or judging words.
2) We get in touch with the part of the mind that automatically thinks self-critical thoughts. On the one hand, we train ourselves to register what is going on in our body and mind, and on the other hand, we train ourselves to register our inner critic - almost as if it is a separate sub-personality we are looking at from a meta-perspective.
Non-judgmental
Being non-judgmental means that you don't name, evaluate, or judge something as good or bad. This goes against the natural inclination to analyze, categorize, and assess. You simply take a neutral and factual approach to what is observed and describe it without judgment.
However, no one can completely avoid the occasional judgment, assessment, and evaluation. It is certainly not uncommon when you feel pain to evaluate the pain as bad. What you can train in this situation is to still be non-judgmental and to observe and describe by thinking: "I have judgmental thoughts".
If you are at the same time in pain and judging yourself for it, it is double hard. Whereas if you 'only' have pain and you register your pain with self-compassion, it will be easier to be in pain and at the same time do something that actually relieves the pain instead of defying what you feel.
Non-reacting
Non-reacting means letting bodily sensations (including pain), thoughts, and feelings come and go without paying attention to them and without becoming consumed by them or acting on them.
One way to practice this is to notice that your nose is itchy, and you feel the urge to reach up and scratch your nose. Before you automatically do this, try to observe the itch you feel and observe the urge you get to move your hand up and scratch again. This is a training exercise in separating everything that is otherwise automatic, such as when you feel pain and you automatically think "oh no...". The thought then causes feelings of discomfort to well up inside you.
By practicing mindfulness, you can slow down the automatic reaction and stick to observing and describing in a non-judgmental and non-reactive way, and you will avoid thoughts and feelings causing you a lot of discomfort and suffering.
Another aspect of mindfulness training is the bodily reaction that happens when you feel pain in your body. Someone who is not trained in the use of mindfulness may tense up their body (which is a natural reaction to pain) and the stress response will be activated when they feel pain.
In contrast, a person who is trained in the use of mindfulness will either remain relaxed in the body or invite the body to relax again with conscious awareness. The person will still be able to breathe deeply and calmly without triggering the stress response.
Mindful awareness (acting with awareness)
Being mindfully aware means having your attention focused on one thing in the present moment. It is the opposite of doing several things at once, such as cleaning up and talking on the phone or planning your day in your head while you are in the shower. Instead, you give the event undivided attention with all your senses and only shift your attention to other things as you get there.
Mindful awareness means being present and aware of things as they are in a given moment, regardless of how they are and not how you want them to be.
Our "automatic pilot" is dictated by our habitual thought patterns, but with mindfulness training, we try to promote a more conscious and aware presence and more caring action/behavior.
To summarize
Essentially, mindfulness as a skills practice involves focusing your attention directly on an object or activity, such as your body, breathing, walking, or eating, and observing it carefully. You are invited to notice when your attention wanders to your thoughts and you become engrossed in them. When this happens, simply notice briefly that your attention has shifted and gently return your attention back to the present moment and the practice.
If bodily sensations or emotional states arise, you are encouraged to observe them carefully, noting how they feel, where in the body they are felt, and whether they change over time. Thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations are observed as they come and go.
As you gain more experience, you will be encouraged to start naming what you observe using words or phrases such as "itching", "sad", "thoughts" or "wants to move".
You are encouraged to have a kind, curious, interested, and accepting attitude toward everything you observe, no matter how pleasant or unpleasant it is, and refrain from evaluating, criticizing, or trying to remove or change what is. When you find yourself doing this anyway, the exercise is not to start judging, but to observe and name that this is what is happening.
