Breaking agreements with yourself
It is unrealistic to expect that we will live according to our values and accomplish what we set out to do all the time. What is realistic is to expect that we will get better over time. We get better at following our values-based direction, quicker to catch ourselves if we take a different path, and better at getting back on track.
Sometimes it will happen that we break commitments or agreements we have made with ourselves. Here we often see two different patterns play out:
- Pattern: Make a commitment - break a commitment - give up.
- Pattern: Make a commitment - break a commitment - lick your wounds - get up again - learn from the experience - get back on track - make a new commitment.
The first pattern leads to getting stuck and not moving forward, whereas the second pattern leads to continued progress toward our values-based goals.
What helps us when we occasionally lose direction is to be kind and accepting of ourselves, rather than being judgmental or condemn ourselves (if that helped, most of us would probably be experts by now). We must therefore accept the painful thoughts and feelings and reconnect with our values so we can continue in the right direction.
