Impossible goals
Sometimes we can set impossible goals. This happens when there is a big gap between reality as it is and the desired reality. A reality gap. The bigger the gap, the more painful the feelings that will arise when we realize we cannot do it.
There may be sadness, anger, resentment, or fear, and thoughts like "I can never have the life I want", "It's not fair" or "It makes no sense to continue". While it is important to understand that these feelings and thoughts are normal, it is also important to acknowledge and accept the pain. We can do this by going back and working on acceptance, defusion, and self-compassion as we have done in previous sessions.
When you are ready, you can return to your values and start over by setting new and realistic goals.
What to do when a goal is impossible or far away:
- Acknowledge the pain, feelings, and thoughts that arise from the reality gap.
- Respond to the pain with acceptance, defusion, and self-compassion.
- Find the values that underpin the goal.
- Set new realistic and shorter-term goals based on these values.
